- Re:Have good manners gone for good? - Wolfeboro Community Forums

I just returned from food shopping at Hannafords and I had such a rotten experience, that I have to vent. The first problem started in the parking lot. I was sitting in my car going over my shopping list. I had the light on so it was obvious that I was in the car. Another car pulled in next to me and proceeded to slam the side of my car when they got out of theirs and continued walking into the store. I got out of my car and called to them - "Hey, you just hit my car". They stopped, briefly, and then kept going. I was really stunned. They were an older couple, so I expected they would stop and apologize, but no such thing. Then in the store, people were stopping in the aisle, blocking everyone from shopping, and oblivious to that fact, and not caring one tiny bit. I waited for a time, and then said, excuse me, but they just looked at me and continued shopping. Another guy ran right into my ankle with his cart and kept on going - not a word of apology. I don't know if the full moon was giving me a really hard time, but I don't remember ever having so many things happen and not one person even saying, sorry or anything. I've had people cut me off in their car and give ME the finger. What the heck has happened to society? Are we really as ugly as we act? Has America gone to hell in a handbasket or am I just having an incredibly rotten day? Comments appreciated.

No, you're not having a rotten day. What you describe has become the American way. Everyone for themselves with no courtesy and no consideration for the other person. I think that is what they call the "Me" generation. Disgusting as it is, it has become the way of life in our country. I have had the same experiences as you. Disgusting as it is, I guess we just have to put up with the people that care about nobody except themselves.

There was a time, at least when I was younger, when your parents taught you to be courteous and considerate, especially to elderly people. That time no longer exists. These days one can be lucky to have parents teach their children anything, especially courtesy. How sad.

People are incredibly rude these days, LS, and I think the current entitlement mindset is encouraging the "grab it for yourself at any cost" behavior.

I had a bad supermarket experience, myself, this week with one in town. I drove into town specifically to buy a certain item from the deli, and when I got home, I found it was spoiled and disgusting. I called the manager, who was quite apologetic and offered to replace the item IF I came in with my receipt. When I replied that the receipt was down in the garbage, under said revolting merchandise, and I wasn't inclined to get it, he repeated his offer.

More appropriate, I'd say, would have been to take down my name and the pertinent information, so all I'd have to do is mention it when I next came in. It would have cost them all of $5.

Mac

Wildman - it's the older generation she referred to as being rude.

"They were an older couple, so I expected they would stop and apologize, but no such thing."

Perhaps it's LS - life is a 2 way street as we all know.

I certainly hope my children don't behave that way. I've spent considerable time teaching them not to although I do think certain aspects of our English language have been changed so as not to suggest manners. For instance, do you ever hear "thank you for your business" any more? No way! You hear there you go and have a nice day. My father-in-law switched banks because the tellers didn't say thank you. Now that younger generation isn't being mean nor do they think they aren't being polite - it's just a change in our society as it relates to manners.

I think rude behavior of the sort experienced by LS is despicable. What does it take to be nice to people? Also, the old folks who smashed the car had a legal responsibility to check for damage and fix it if necessary, which they failed to do. I don't know where we went wrong.

IMO you need to practice what you preach DF. This site is full of your nasty comments and the like. Hypocrite just came to mind.

LS, it was a probably a combination of events:

First, Friday—after work—is always a bad time to go grocery shopping.

Second, after your car was struck, you were "primed" for observations that you would ordinarily have overlooked as unimportant or taken as "personal".

Third, large stores tend to be depersonalized.

You are more likely to encounter neighbors and friends at Wolfeboro's smaller grocery stores. (And your neighbors and friends are also aware of such mutual encounters, making a "door-slam event" a rarity).

Fourth, when you arrived at your peaceful lakeside residence, you felt much less a part of "The Big City" that the area has become due to rampant growth: the contrast must have been palpable.

Fifth, rural New Hampshire has always been more considerate of its fellow citizens in the past.

However, people have moved here from NY and MA for reasons other than consideration of others, and it shows—increasingly—every year.


My chief gripe is sub-contractors' littering, tailgating and speeding.

This afternoon I did some grocery shopping at Hunters and I have to admit CW you are right. The small hometown store is so much nicer. I felt more at home and everyone was nice - smiling even! I guess I will pay a little more and shop locally and not have to worry so much about rude people. I was brought up by parents who expected their kids to be polite and thoughtful of others. It stuck. My own son and grandson are both a huge pain in the butt in most respects, but they are always polite and kind to others. I value manners and work hard to always be polite and kind (although I've been known to "slip" now and again on this site). It only takes a minute to say thanks and give a smile, but when I receive this, it really makes my day.